Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
