I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
