I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize