Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
