tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
