Will you blow on my dice?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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