He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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