I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
