I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
