So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
