Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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