he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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