so that wasnt chicken after all
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
