i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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