if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
