Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
