you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
