I'm so fucking centered right now
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
