I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
