Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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