I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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