so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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