weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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