went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
