I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
