Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize