I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
