are you still at the devil's house?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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