Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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