Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
