She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
