My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
