Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
