At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He better not be in your backpack
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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