if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
