so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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