also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
