Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
