When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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