dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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