Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
