her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He passed out mid-signature
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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