If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
