Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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