new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
