Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
