hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
