I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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