yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
