your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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