your room smells of hookers.
And success
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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