My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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