You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
