Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
