maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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