We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
