Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
