Porn is love you can see.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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